Parenting 101
September 15, 2008 by Tyler Hartle · Comments Off
Throughout history, being a parent is and has always been the most important job one can ever do. Parenting is not a 9 to 5 job or other career choice. Parenting lasts a lifetime. Many people have said that parenting is an amazing journey filled with rewards and sometimes seemingly impossible challenges. Here’s a little help to get you through it all.
Number One Myth: I should know all the answers.
Here’s the kicker, you don’t know everything and you don’t have to know everything. There is not a single parent on the planet that has all of the answers. Also, there’s no such thing as ‘one style fits all’ parenting. The Dr. Spock books are there to give examples, not to provide strict parenting enforcement. Parents need to recognize and be able to respond to the unique personalities, strengths and vulnerabilities of each child. Have reasonable expectations of yourself. Have confidence in what you do know.
It’s OK to say I don’t know. There are numerous ways to educate yourself to find out about the things you feel less confident in.
Myth #2: Parenting comes naturally.
Being a parent requires you become an understanding, persistent, imaginative, energetic, knowledgeable and patient human being.
Parents in all walks of life need support. Take the time to congratulate yourself on what you are doing well. Accept there may be things you could do differently. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Every parent makes mistakes and learns through experience. Mistakes will only count if you keep repeating them. Appreciate that parenting has its ups and downs and accept that this is normal.
Myth #3: Raising my children is my job.
Remember the old saying, “It takes a village.” In the past, extended families and neighborhoods have collectively taken on the responsibility of caring for children. In modern times, parents, more than ever before, are viewed as solely accountable for raising their children. This can sometimes make parents feel judged and alone. If you get out and ask around, you will find that many other parents feel exactly the same way as you. Asking for support is a helpful thing to do for you and your child. Seek support from family, friends, church and community and family support services.
Parenting is a community activity – many people play a significant role in children’s lives. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, teachers and neighbors all contribute to and support family life.
Look after yourself as well as your children. I say it is a good idea to look after yourself first, and then look after your children. If you have ever traveled by plane on any airline, this thought process is nothing new. The flight attendant, when discussing safety and emergency procedures, instructs parents to first put on his or her oxygen mask, and then put the oxygen mask on their child or children. You are no good to your children if you are putting yourself in harms way.
Children and parents learn from each other.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent. There is no such thing as a perfect child. There are many ways to parent. Children and parents learn together.
If you have children, chances are they’re always watching, listening and learning from you. They are constantly processing your parenting skills as they watch how you do things, how you express your feelings and how you relate to others.
As a parent, you continuously learn more and more about your child as they change and grow.
The way you parent should change with the changing needs of your children.
