InnocentOnes.org » Preventing Abuse http://www.innocentones.org child abuse prevention advocates Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:00:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Actions, Words and Doing Nothing http://www.innocentones.org/2009/01/actions-words-and-doing-nothing/ http://www.innocentones.org/2009/01/actions-words-and-doing-nothing/#comments Tue, 13 Jan 2009 07:32:09 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=138 The way parents talk to and act with their children influences how children feel about themselves. As parents, our behavior often speaks louder than words. What are you saying to your child? What are you saying about your child? What are your children saying about you?

The things parents say to their children act like a mirror, reflecting back to their children the ideas their parents have about who they are and what they will become.

Unkind words and actions can last a lifetime, and sometimes those same words and actions fill generations while being passed down from one generation to another. As a parent you may sometimes do or say things to your child that goes against your better judgment. Generally children are resilient enough that the occasional cruel or negative comment has no long term impact. However, the more often you communicate negative messages to your children through heartless words and actions, the more they will come to accept those negative words and actions as truth.

Listen to your Children

Listening to your children tells your children they are important. As a parent, one of your responsibilities is to spend time with your children and listen to their point of view. Sometimes your children may not speak because they are not given the opportunity. Ensure there is space in your family for each person to be heard.

Listening means not only hearing the words but working out the feelings behind the words. Listen to the things that your children are not saying. For a lot of children, behavior speaks louder than words. What are your children trying to tell you?

Be a patient listener. Allow your children time to tell their story. Don’t jump in before they have finished telling their story. Don’t ever try to finish your children’s sentences. Be a keen listener. Share in your children’s enthusiasm. When you help your children to express their thoughts and feelings with you, you are helping them to find the words or other ways to communicate with you.

Guess What? Your Children ARE Listening!

Here are some actions you should never do and words you should never say:

  • Never ignore your children.
  • Never attach a negative label to describe your child or call him/her names. For example, “Stupid” or “You’re such a bad boy/girl”.
  • Never place unfair blame on your child. For example, “You must have done it – your brother would have never done something like that” or “You are the reason mommy and daddy fight all the time”.
  • Never withdraw love from your children. For example, “You were a mistake from the beginning. I wish you were never born”.
  • Never frown or sigh when your child wants to talk to you.
  • Never compare one child with another.
  • Never talk about your children negatively in front of others – they have ears and are very receptive.
]]> http://www.innocentones.org/2009/01/actions-words-and-doing-nothing/feed/ 0 National Child Abuse and Neglect Numbers http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/national-help-numbers/ http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/national-help-numbers/#comments Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:42:33 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=83 National Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Telephone Numbers and Website Information

Below are the toll-free numbers and websites for specific agencies designated to accept and investigate reports of suspected child abuse and neglect for each state in the United States.

Alabama
Local (toll):    (334) 242-9500
Alabama Child Abuse Reporting Website

Alaska
Toll-Free:    (800) 478-4444
Alaska Child Abuse Reporting Website

Arizona
Toll-Free:    (888) SOS-CHILD (888-767-2445)
Arizona Child Abuse Reporting Website

Arkansas
Toll-Free:    (800) 482-5964
Arkansas Child Abuse Reporting Website

California
Report Child Abuse in California
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Colorado
Local (toll):    (303) 866-5932
Report Child Abuse in Colorado

Connecticut
TDD:    (800) 624-5518
Toll-Free:    (800) 842-2288
Report Child Abuse in Connecticut

Delaware
Toll-Free:    (800) 292-9582
Report Child Abuse in Delaware

District of Columbia
Local (toll):    (202) 671-SAFE (202-671-7233)
Report Child Abuse in the District of Columbia

Florida
Toll-Free:    (800) 96-ABUSE (800-962-2873)
Report Child Abuse in Florida

Georgia
Report Child Abuse in Georgia
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Hawaii
Local (toll):    (808) 832-5300
Report Child Abuse in Hawaii

Idaho
Toll-Free:    (800) 926-2588
Report Child Abuse in Idaho

Illinois
Toll-Free:    (800) 252-2873
Local (toll):    (217) 524-2606
Report Child Abuse in Illinois

Indiana
Toll-Free:    (800) 800-5556
Report Child Abuse in Indiana

Iowa
Toll-Free:    (800) 362-2178
Report Child Abuse in Iowa

Kansas
Toll-Free:    (800) 922-5330
Report Child Abuse in Kansas

Kentucky
Toll-Free:    (800) 752-6200
Report Child Abuse in Kentucky

Louisiana
Report Child Abuse in Louisiana
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Maine
TTY:    (800) 963-9490
Toll-Free:    (800) 452-1999
Report Child Abuse in Maine

Maryland
Report Child Abuse in Maryland
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Massachusetts
Toll-Free:    (800) 792-5200
Report Child Abuse in Massachusetts

Michigan
Report Child Abuse in Michigan
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Minnesota
Report Child Abuse in Minnesota
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Mississippi
Toll-Free:    (800) 222-8000
Local (toll):    (601) 359-4991
Report Child Abuse in Mississippi

Missouri
Toll-Free:    (800) 392-3738
Local (toll):    (573) 751-3448
Report Child Abuse in Missouri

Montana
Toll-Free:    (866) 820-5437
Report Child Abuse in Montana

Nebraska
Toll-Free:    (800) 652-1999
Report Child Abuse in Nebraska

Nevada
Toll-Free:    (800) 992-5757
Report Child Abuse in Nevada

New Hampshire
Toll-Free:    (800) 894-5533
Local (toll):    (603) 271-6556
Report Child Abuse in New Hampshire

New Jersey
TDD:    (800) 835-5510
TTY:    (800) 835-5510
Toll-Free:    (877) 652-2873
Report Child Abuse in New Jersey

New Mexico
Toll-Free:    (800) 797-3260
Local (toll):    (505) 841-6100
Report Child Abuse in New Mexico

New York
TDD:    (800) 369-2437
Toll-Free:    (800) 342-3720
Local (toll):    (518) 474-8740
Report Child Abuse in New York

North Carolina
Report Child Abuse in North Carolina
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

North Dakota
Report Child Abuse in North Dakota
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Ohio
Report Child Abuse in Ohio
Contact the county Public Children Services Agency using the list above or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453for assistance.

Oklahoma
Toll-Free:    (800) 522-3511
Report Child Abuse in Oklahoma

Oregon
Report Child Abuse in Oregon
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Pennsylvania
Toll-Free:    (800) 932-0313
Report Child Abuse in Pennsylvania

Puerto Rico
Toll-Free:    (800) 981-8333
Local (toll):    (787) 749-1333
Spanish Information on Website: Report Child Abuse in Puerto Rico

Rhode Island
Toll-Free:    (800) RI-CHILD (800-742-4453)
Report Child Abuse in Rhode Island

South Carolina
Local (toll):    (803) 898-7318
Report Child Abuse in South Carolina

South Dakota
Report Child Abuse in South Dakota
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Tennessee
Toll-Free:    (877) 237-0004
Report Child Abuse in Tennessee

Texas
Toll-Free:    (800) 252-5400
Report Child Abuse in Texas

Utah
Toll-Free:    (800) 678-9399
Report Child Abuse in Utah

Vermont
After hours:    (800) 649-5285
Report Child Abuse in Vermont

Virginia
Toll-Free:    (800) 552-7096
Local (toll):    (804) 786-8536
Report Child Abuse in Virginia

Washington
TTY:    (800) 624-6186
Toll-Free:    (866) END-HARM (866-363-4276)
After hours:    (800) 562-5624
Report Child Abuse in Washington

West Virginia
Toll-Free:    (800) 352-6513
Report Child Abuse in West Virginia

Wisconsin
Report Child Abuse in Wisconsin
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

Wyoming
Report Child Abuse in Wyoming
Click on the website above for information on reporting or call 1-800-4-A-CHILD / 1-800-422-4453 for assistance.

All numbers and website information is current as of date posted.

]]> http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/national-help-numbers/feed/ 0 Recognizing The Signs of Child Abuse http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/recognize-the-signs-of-child-abuse/ http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/recognize-the-signs-of-child-abuse/#comments Tue, 19 Aug 2008 09:23:51 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=61 Recognize the signs of child abuse

The effects of child abuse and neglect are not always easy to identify and people who abuse can go to great lengths to hide it. Many of the common signs of child abuse can be confused with normal, everyday happenings. Adults need to be aware that a change in a child’s behavior may be caused by child abuse.

Recognizing the signs in children

The following are some of the general indicators of child abuse and neglect that you may observe in children or young people. The presence of one or more of these factors does not by itself prove that child abuse is happening. However, it can alert you to the possibility of child abuse. The likelihood of child abuse is occurring may be higher when more indicators are present.

  • A child or young person tells you that he or she is being abused or hurt
  • You notice sudden or unexplained changes in mood or behavior of a child or young person
  • You notice frequent or unexplained bruises or injuries on a child or young person
  • You see a child or young person with low self-esteem
  • You see a child or young person with poor hygiene
  • You notice that a child or young person becomes withdrawn or unresponsive
  • You notice a child or young person with a lot of exaggerated fears
  • You notice that a child or young person seems to lack trust in familiar adults
  • You notice that a child or young person has serious difficulties relating to peers and/or adults
  • You see a child or young person who is always angry or aggressive
  • You find out that a child or young person has difficulty sleeping and experiences nightmares
  • You notice a child or young person experience a change in eating patterns

Recognize the signs in parents

The following are just some of the general indicators of child abuse and neglect that you may observe in the behavior of parents or care givers. The presence of one or more of these factors does not by itself prove that abuse is happening. However, it can alert you to the possibility of abuse. The possibility of abuse may be higher if more indicators are present.

  • You notice that a parent seems unconcerned about the child’s welfare at home or school
  • You notice that there is domestic violence between adults in a household
  • You notice that a parent feels constantly stressed and tells you they have hurt his/her child
  • You see that a parent seems secretive or tries to isolate the child from other children
  • You notice that a parent constantly talks about the child in negative ways
  • You notice that a parent frequently blames, belittles or insults the child
  • You notice that a parent avoids talking about the child’s injuries or gives conflicting explanations for them
  • You notice that a parent is suffering from depression or other serious mental illness that may be impacting on their ability to care for their children
  • You notice that a parent is drinking alcohol excessively or abusing prescription medication and is not able to take care of his/her children properly
  • You see or hear that a parent is using illegal drugs and is not able to take care of his/her children properly

Recognize the signs in yourself

As parents or others charged with rearing chidlren, we can relate to sometimes feeling tested to the limits of our parenting ability. Sometimes we can feel out of control. In other situations, we can have personal problems that stop us from caring for our children.

It is your responsibility to recognize when you need help before the harm happens.
If you feel you may hurt, or have hurt your child, it is important that you seek immediate assistance.

STOP what you are doing.

THINK about how you and your child are affected by what is happening.
DO something to change things.
GET SUPPORT to make the changes.
Seeking support and assistance can take courage. Taking this step, however, is critical for you and your child.

Seeking support and assistance reflects:

  • your love for your child
  • your ability to appreciate there is a problem
  • your desire for things to be different for your family
  • your commitment to working towards changing things for the better.

Speak to someone you trust and feel can help you.

Find a list of support services that may be able to assist you and your family. Keep trying until you find a service that can help you.

Things can change for the better for you and your family. It is up to you to take the next step.

]]> http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/recognize-the-signs-of-child-abuse/feed/ 0 Deciding To Take Action http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/deciding-to-take-action/ http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/deciding-to-take-action/#comments Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:55:33 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=44 It is often hard to know what to do to help a child or young person who has been abused. You may think you are over-reacting or mistaken. You worry that you may be seen by others as interfering. You might think you may be responsible for breaking the family up.

Sometimes people are concerned that efforts to help children ends up causing them further harm. However, we know that this is not the case. Many adult survivors of abuse have said that the continued abuse causes more harm than any action taken to stop the abuse.

If you suspect child abuse report it.

  • Trust your judgment.
  • You do not have to prove that the abuse is happening.
  • You can report anonymously.

Families need help when abuse is happening.

Reporting abuse can help families to receive the counselling and support services they need. This may help to relieve some of the family problems or stress. It will probably be critical in preventing further abuse of the children or young people in that family.

]]> http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/deciding-to-take-action/feed/ 0 Things You Can Do In Your Community http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/things-you-can-do-in-your-community/ http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/things-you-can-do-in-your-community/#comments Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:17:51 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=42 Raise awareness about child abuse by talking to friends and neighbors about child abuse and how to prevent it.

Help community groups, clubs or organizations, like your local family support center, to distribute copies of this booklet throughout the community.

Support local efforts to help families, such as fund raising for a local family charity or a food or clothing drive.

Get involved with your child’s school. Find out what they are doing to help prevent child abuse and neglect and how you might help.

Raise the issue of children’s safety and protection in your local community groups, sporting clubs and service groups. As a group, you may be able to improve community awareness about the problem of child abuse and ensure the safety of children in your area by staging local events about children and their need for protection.

Ensure organizations and clubs that have contact with children in your community have policies that outline safe and respectful ways of interacting with children. These guidelines should address bullying, discipline of children, sexism and racism. There should also be procedures for supporting children if they disclose that they are being hurt or abused by an adult involved in the organization.

Ensure organizations and clubs in your local community that have contact with children have policies regarding appropriate recruitment and screening processes, including mandatory police checks for staff and volunteers.

Support organizations or businesses that are committed to promoting the protection of children in your community.

]]> http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/things-you-can-do-in-your-community/feed/ 2 What You Can Do For A Child http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/what-you-can-do-for-a-child/ http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/what-you-can-do-for-a-child/#comments Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:00:29 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=34 Playing your part – What you can do for children
  • Show and tell children that they are important to you and that you care about how they feel.
  • Understand and respect children’s vulnerabilities as well as their abilities.
  • Appreciate the insights of children. They understand more than you think.
  • Try to understand the seriousness and consequences of child abuse.
  • Be someone special for a child to turn to. Be there to listen.
  • Trust your judgement. Don’t keep it to yourself – do something if you are worried about a child.
]]> http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/what-you-can-do-for-a-child/feed/ 3 Celebrate the Life of a Child http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/celebrate-the-life-of-a-child-in-our-community/ http://www.innocentones.org/2008/08/celebrate-the-life-of-a-child-in-our-community/#comments Tue, 12 Aug 2008 05:58:24 +0000 Tyler Hartle http://www.innocentones.org/?p=32 So often, today, we hear about the costs of having a child. These are usually described as economic, social or career costs. We hear talk of the sacrifices made by adults in their lives as a result of having a child.
It is sometimes easy to lose sight of what is important. In the middle of life’s busy pace, take time out to reflect on the ways a child contributes to your life.

A child enriches the lives of adults in many ways. Giving adults:

  • Their trust.
  • The chance to be a hero.
  • The chance to share in the magic and wonder of their world.
  • The chance to reflect on your own values, attitudes and assumptions about the world.
  • The chance to share in their fun and their laughter.
  • The chance to revisit your own childhood.
  • The chance to take time out from being a grown up.

Ways to tell a child they are important:

  • Show them that you are interested in them by spending time together, listening to them, joining in their play.
  • Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small.
  • Praise them for trying, no matter what the outcome.
  • Keep special reminders of their successes and milestones.
  • Let them help you do things.
  • Let them know it is OK to make mistakes; it is all part of learning.
  • Help them to build on their strengths.
  • Ask their opinion on things that affect them. It shows you care about what they think.
  • Help them to solve their own problems. Show them that you have faith in them.
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